Everything is a lesson for me right now. So much of what I’m learning about healing is about the body—the energetic body specifically. All of my current practices emphasize settling into my body to heal and grow instead of being in my head. It makes all the sense in the world to me now.
Yesterday, I wrote that my religious understanding and interpretations told me I needed to discard my body, as it would be my downfall if I didn’t. But as I began to experience pain and discomfort in my body, I’ve been unable to keep discarding it. Over the weeks, it’s become even more evident that what I’ve been experiencing aren’t just physical disruptions in my body. They are mental and emotional disruptions that have now manifested in my body—which I now understand are just energetic disruptions that have a physical imprint that doctors diagnose. Now, my practices are leading me to get into my body, and now I understand that the point is not to get out of my body. I recognize clearly that my body is the portal between the physical and non-physical world. The idea was not to bring my body under subjection but to get into harmony with the energetic part of my body for physical healing and non-physical access.
I used my mind to bring my body under subjection and keep it there, leaving my body vacant. I lived with a mindset that my body was only temporary and would just go back to dust. So, with that in mind, why care much about it? Why look to it as a portal through which to access The All? Why view it as a remarkable creation designed for me as a vehicle to enjoy this life. And if I, by chance, became ill or hurt, why would I look inside my body to find healing? I wouldn’t have, and I didn’t, at first.
During meditation this morning, I was moved to focus on my body’s sensations instead of my breath like normal. Three things happened. I felt a tangible flow of energy moving down the outside of my legs, something that felt like a swirl of energy moving counterclockwise around my chest and back, and lastly, I completely lost track of time. This experience taught me that being in my body gives me a better understanding of the nature of my existence. Also, that I am an energetic being because I felt the energy moving in my body for myself. So no one will ever be able to tell me different. It also showed me that I am only truly present in the here and now when I get out of my head and into my body. That’s knowing peace.