Day 75: Courage As Key

I finally got into the science of my coaching program yesterday, and I can’t express how excited I was to study cell structure and biology. I got clarity on some things that I didn’t understand about how cells get nutrition, and it opened my mind up about my own diet. For years I heard all the marketing around fats, carbohydrates, fiber, and sugar. I feel like every new diet sensation had one of those at its core, and they were all deemed the most important aspect of losing weight and being healthy. But to learn about those things in the context of cellular nutrition was enlightening. I’m just getting started, but I can already see how the knowledge and understanding I have now is going to expand and be clarified. I get the sense that it’ll be much easier to absorb the material and be able to apply it quickly.

It was a rocky few days for me, but I am maintaining my zest and moving forward. I took a few steps back in the practice of awareness. I didn’t maintain awareness or stay in my body as much as I would have liked. And I certainly didn’t stay as true to myself as I’ve promised myself I would. I was frustrated with myself and disappointed too. But I heard a Maya Angelou quote last night: “the greatest virtue is courage because, without it, it’s impossible to consistently practice all the others.” That quote may be a little off, but that was the gist of it. But that quote hit me like a ton of bricks because it shifted how I see fear—my fear in particular. I’ve been trying to either get rid of fear or learn to be a master over it. That quote helped me realize that with my approach, I’ve made fear my focus, and anything we place our focus on grows. I would benefit more from focusing on having courage. That revelation alone gave me renewed hope. I want to be courageous, not just void of fear. Courageousness indicates action, and that encourages me to confront the things I fear. I already knew that’s what I had to do but somehow, being courageous feels empowering.

The other thing the great Maya Angelou’s quote helped me see is that because I haven’t been courageous and I’ve let my fear dictate so much of life, it’s the reason I’ve been so inconsistent. In other words, I haven’t been able to practice all of the other virtues consistently. It’s like that quote explained me, to me. I feel blessed that her words were shared with me last night. I know there is going to be a lot of confrontation in my future as I set out to practice courageousness, but it’s necessary, and whatever grows from it, I will accept. Whatever doesn’t grow from it, I will accept that also. This is a commitment I am making to myself and the people in my life. Things have to change. I’m tired of fear reigning over me. It stops today.