Day 63: Slow Down to Speed Up

I may have gone too hard, too fast with working out. I now have lower back pain, shin splints, and more hip pain than normal. I did the very thing I was trying not to do, but what I thought was pushing harder because my workout became relatively easy turned out to be more than my body could handle. I’ve spent the last two days doing low-impact exercises, and I have to accept that I’m older now and my body is different. It’s something I’ve jokingly said as the birthdays pass and my knees crack on occasion, but for some reason, having to pull back on my workout has really made me realize what it means to get older.

I know some of the pain from working out has to do with having not worked out consistently or diligently in years, but wanting to go hard in my mind, but my body now following suit sort of put life in perspective for me. I’ve lived on this earth for nearly 40 years. After this, the next milestone is turning 50. It makes me think that whatever I’m going to do, I better do it now. I’ve allowed a lot of life to pass, and while I don’t necessarily feel like I’m up against the clock, I do feel compelled to go after everything I want. Over the last ten years or so, I’ve felt like it was too late to do the things I want as if success is only for the young. If I’m completely honest, that’s exactly how I’ve thought about success. I’ve always seen young people being successful and not older people getting started and having success. Not that it doesn’t happen. I’ve just never seen it. So today was two-fold. On the one hand, I realized that timing is passing on my life, and on the other hand, I see clearly the mentality that has held me back.

It’s interesting how often I had somewhat mundane things happen, and it led to a more expansive understanding of myself. I was just working out, trying to get in the best shape of my life, and it’s led to me taking full stock of my life. Like, my living life!! My living life. That’s the best way I can say it right now. But once again, I’m thankful for the understanding.