Day 30: Taking Stock

I’m happy to have made it to 30 days of writing. That coincides with 30 days of tapping, daily moves, and meditating. I’m so proud of myself. I’m most proud that I don’t feel like I’ve reached the end of some task. I feel excited about continuing. I wanted to make sure that I celebrated this victory. I feel invigorated by my work over the last 30 days. For the first time in a long time, I’m writing without that self-critical voice whispering in the background. I’m not obsessively self-editing or thinking about how I’m coming across. I’ve had a few moments where my mind was more involved than I would have liked, but for the most part, I’ve approached the page with no expectations. Some days I sat down to write without anything to express. I started writing, and the words came out without forcing things. I’m so appreciative that I’m in this place–a place where I’m happy just to be doing what I’m doing. That means the world.

As for my spiritual practices, they have been mind-bending and life-changing just because my mind has changed so much about what I believe is possible. I’ve experienced physical benefits as well as emotional benefits. I’ve learned about the power of conscious belly breathing. I’ve experienced what increased oxygen in your blood does to mental clarity and physical sense wellness. I literally have felt like I woke up in a moment. Tapping has been incredible towards accessing my subconscious mind—getting to how I really feel about a number of things and speaking that truth to make peace with it. And at the same time, being able to move stuck energy out of my body. What I’ve taken away during the last 30 days is that I will never experience well-being as long as I am engaged in a fight against the parts of me that I don’t like or want to change. In fact, there isn’t even a need to judge or label. It is what it is, and it will be what it will be, and ultimately, that’s up to me.

I saved the meditation for last. I have wanted to meditate for years because I heard so many people swear by it. But I had never been able to practice it myself. Over the last week, I turned a corner with meditation, and I absolutely love it. I look forward to meditating more than anything right now. I had a very dynamic experience that I wrote about where I was able to observe my thoughts in a way that I hadn’t before. At that moment, I understood who I am. I saw so much of my conditioning pass by as thoughts and old beliefs. I experienced what it feels like when there is no time. I felt my own vibrational energy throughout my body in the last several days. Meditation has helped me get into my body and out of my head. It’s energizing and restful at the same time. I know there is so much more to gain from a consistent meditation practice, and I’m beyond excited to explore the depths of its benefits.

I think I’m ready to implement yet another practice. My new practice will be drinking eighty ounces of water per day. I know I don’t drink enough water and want to start because I know that is another element of my healing and growth.