Sometimes I just don’t’ have a lot to say. Right now is one of those times. I had planned to write about the interesting piece of awareness I was blessed with this morning during tapping, but it doesn’t feel like there’s a whole lot to it other than the awareness itself. Now that I just finished the same tapping session again a few minutes ago, I feel more meditative than expressive. However, it is worth documenting what happened.
Yesterday I wrote about my irritation with some lover back pain I was experiencing. I talked about how I didn’t know what caused it to flare up and how my healing feels like one step forward and two steps back from day to day. But I caught myself. I realized that instead of complaining, I could be grateful and recognize that the pain I was feeling was my body telling me it needed my attention. I didn’t know what it was telling me, but I told myself I would move forward with appreciation.
When I woke up this morning, my back was still hurting. I found a tapping mediation on lower back pain and proceeded to try to tap my way into some relief by releasing the underlying emotion beneath my pain. Unexpectantly, I learned that the session was based on the work of Louise Hay, who posited that lower back pain is associated with fear of money or fear of lack of financial support. Immediately I realized that for the last three days, my mind had been consumed with paying for things, thinking about how I would pay for things, and watching my savings shrink because of a few unexpectant expenses. Before this session, I wouldn’t have said money, or the fear of not having enough money, was something I was worried about, but it seems as though my body told me otherwise. Once I made that connection, I focused on the session with the intent to release the fear.
My pain wasn’t gone at the end of the session, but some of the intensity had minimized. That’s why I did the session again tonight. I want to release all the fear I have around money. This is just a start, but once again, my body pointed me in the right direction. I believe my gratitude for my pain last night opened the door for me to have this experience today and become aware of yet another area to heal on the road to becoming the best version of myself. I appreciate that and this body of mine. I thank The All for speaking to me in a way that I can understand and truly hear.
I want to talk a lot more about my relationship with money because it’s a relationship that needs nurturing and transformation. But I also need to process it, but I will honor what I feel and allow myself to meditate on it tonight and process it when it is time.