Day 54: Joy Again

I am honestly over the moon right now. I just feel so inspired and hopeful for the future. I’ve felt so good today. It was nothing in particular. I just felt a sense of well-being. I was able to breathe more freely and deeply than usual today. I noticed it during tapping and mediation this morning, and it was a noticeable difference. I usually feel a little restriction in my upper abdominal area when I inhale, but I didn’t feel that restriction today.

I thought maybe it was because I only ate once yesterday in the afternoon, so maybe my stomach was just empty. However, I ate breakfast and lunch, drank nearly 80 ounces of water, and my breathing never went back to being restricted. Maybe I moved some lodged energy trapped inside me two days ago when I did the tapping session on healing the gut. I did have an emotional release of fear and anxiety, which perhaps made room for deeper breathing. It could also be a result of the protocol I did most of last week to eliminate the bacterial infections my naturopath found two weeks ago. I’ve also been consistent with my normal autoimmune protocol for the last four days. I’m working out every day now too. I know it’s not any one of these things. It’s all of these things combined. And it’s led to me accepting a very important part of me: my passion, interest, fascination, and curiosity for health and wellness. I’m stepping into the reality that, more than anything, I believe that we all should have the information, tools, and support to live a life of abundant health and wellness.

I want it for myself, and I want it for others. I decided I wanted to be a part of ensuring that as many people as possible have it. It’s like I had to go after it for myself first.

So, I made the decision to pursue a new career in health and wellness, even as I build a life of health and wellness. I am absolutely buzzing about it. It feels like me. It feels like what I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve danced around it for years, but it’s time to go forward with sincere intent and committed discipline. I’ve let go of the identities I’ve held on to because I once represented myself as those people. They’re labels anyway. I realize I can see myself as something new and bigger. I now see myself as a health and wellness coach and eventually a naturopath.

I’m excited about what’s in front of me, and it both enlivens and frightens me. And it’s wonderful. I know this is how it’s supposed to feel. I’m finally ready to move beyond my fear of failure as well as my fear of success. I’m now more comfortable seeing myself in places and positions that I felt were too big for me. I know that I will encounter my internal critical voice. I know that there will be times when self-doubt or fear will rise up in me, but I feel more equipped than ever to handle them and see them for what they are; thoughts and not facts. I’m learning more about who I really am, and I intend to be more and more of her every day.