Today’s tapping session was about gratitude for the future. The instructor introduced a new word to me. The word is proanoia. It is the feeling the people and the world are conspiring for a person’s good. It’s the opposite of paranoia. Since hearing it, I’ve thought a lot about how different this idea is from the messaging I’ve received all my life. Now, I’m not paranoid, but I certainly haven’t lived my life thinking that the world around me was conspiring for my good. It’s been more like, “you’re blessed if someone does good by you, but don’t expect it.” Knowing that we often experience the very things we believe, what if I released the idea that I shouldn’t expect the world around me to conspire for my good. Wouldn’t I then experience the benefits of such a grand conspiracy? I mean, if I wholeheartedly believed that? I think so if I accept that believing the other way results in being paranoid. Or at least unexpectant of the world around me.
I must admit, the thought of believing such a thing brings all kinds of judgments up in my mind. It sounds like this mindset would lead to the belief that the world around me owes me something. It sounds a bit self-centered and egotistical. I keep thinking of my brother, who, like a mantra almost, repeats, “ain’t nobody gonna do shit for you. You on your own out here.” And I must say that belief is reflected in his life. Although I don’t share his belief to that degree, when I think of my own life, I can see how my expectations manifested in my life. When I had a belief that everything was going to work out, it did. Even if it wasn’t in the way that I thought it would. But ultimately, it worked out for my good. The times I expected a train wreck, that’s what I got. It even seemed like there was a force against me.
So, this new word proanoia has caused me to think about my entire paradigm. It’s caused some of my judgments to come to the surface. And it’s caused me to think about my future, which was the point of the tapping. The understanding that I have now is that to believe that the world is conspiring for my good isn’t to say that it isn’t conspiring for everyone else’s good. This idea takes self-centeredness off the table. It also doesn’t have to mean that I would live as though the world owes me something because everything that I understand about the The All and the universe right now is that it’s designed to support the good of all people—as long as we allow it. So it wouldn’t be a matter of debt but of grace. It is just the design of the world as we know it. The “world” isn’t synonymous with individual people, so there is no need to fixate on what people will do for my good when all those people would be any way is a vessel through which the gifts of a higher order flow. People help and support the good of other people every day.
What was revealed to me too is that while I’ve heard and said that God, the universe, and every experience are working out for my good, I don’t believe it deep down in my heart. I know it intellectually, but the fact that I felt discomfort with the idea of proanoia and immediately judged it and brought it down to a very egoic level told me what I truly believe. So this is an area of growth that I now see as necessary to progress toward the future I want for myself. And like everything else, it starts now.